My Family, My Heartbeat

I am Divya Pogula, a 32-year-old from India. I am a Telugite (a language called Telugu in Andhra Pradesh – a state from South India). I am a simple girl coming from a humble background where happiness means being with a family, spending time with them. Not just in happy moments but always to be there for each other. The culture where I come from, to us, Family is everything it is like our heartbeat.

I love to be happy all the time, exploring, learning, meeting people, travelling around, getting to know new things, challenging myself and doing something big. Hmm… that’s me… simple girl with big dreams. I always had my family around to support me and my dreams. At every step, my family heard my every single word and made me feel accepted and worthy of whom I am.

Today I came away from my country and working here with my husband and son for the past 3 years, I love my life here too, no doubt about it. But if there is anything I miss, it’s truly my family, the family I grew up with, the family who was there with me through thick and thin. After marriage in my country for a woman her in laws are also her parents. And she lives with them with husband and kids. Though in modern times nuclear families have become more common, it still is followed and preferred. I have loving in-laws; I should say Gods must have been gracious about that. To leave my elders – one who gave me life and the other who gave me a wonderful life partner and for being my parents too after marriage, it is a painful thing. But that is what we all do for a better future and growth we need to explore and make the best of our life.

More about my family I have my parents and my elder brother who is now married, and I’ve got two beautiful nieces too…

My bonding with my parents is very special, even today not a day goes by without speaking to them at least once or twice in a day. That’s the minimum or else anything I’d just pick the phone call and share and then continue with my work. Thanks to the technology that makes distance not a big problem anymore. We still talk and share things. Physically maybe far but hearts are connected.

To share some of my experiences I remember how me, my brother and my parents used to sleep on one single cot. ALL 4 OF US!!! We come from a middle class family, grandparents were agriculturists and my father was the only one who studied. My Paternal Grandpa was a bangle seller and used to do be a farmer too. He had 11 children so that explains they had a lot of struggle to run the family. It was from such a family my dad studied. Schools were far away so he went to poor hostels as he could not afford better ones with very little food and facilities, but really worked hard to be a successful Doctor today. He is such a big inspiration to me. I cannot imagine what a life he had. But I know he never gave up. My parents never gave up. He is a successful Homoeopath treating thousands of patients a year now, but we know how much he struggled as a young man in his youth studying hard and working for his family to feed his kids and to get a better future. That is what parents do, and that is what makes us understand the emotions and the value of relationships and responsibilities today. My Dad, my hero. My Mom, my strong pillar, in fact for the whole family. She taught me how important a family is in nurturing ourselves and the next generation. In turn it taught me today to take pride in being a woman. She used to cook and clean and do all the household chores alone with very less to minimal help. Stood by my dad all times, even at the clinic though she was a homemaker she learnt whatever is necessary to run a clinic did a local course that would help my dad’s work too. She never asked us to do anything for her nor my dad, we just used to observe and see whatever she does and my dad too. The best part was she never failed to stop always smiling even through tough times we may cry a bit, but she stood up again and keeps encouraging all this will pass. She always encouraged us to study well and be of good character as we grow. Kindness, love, and patience is what I have always seen, and it moves me today whenever I remember those days.

I still remember how my father used to take us out on a motor bike all four of us. Carry our picnic baskets to the nearby streams or rivers to play. My brother, more a friend and a father when times needed. My parents used to share the financial issues also, so we understand to know the value of money and learn to be wiser with finances.

As we grew up our education demanded us to move away and later marriage, jobs etc to stay away from our family but that’s just a part of our life, our growing process. Until I came away from India, it has always been a sure thing to meet for festivals. After marriage we definitely used to meet our families and love spending time with them. My favorite festival is Ganesh Chaturthi which is widely celebrated in India. The specialty of this festival at our home is that we celebrate right from making the idol all by ourselves and we need to find more than 20 varieties of leaves to worship Lord Ganesha, decorating the idol with lots of flowers and turmeric, cleaning up the house and decorating the house, making lots of varieties of food items, then we go out and see the celebrations and different idols made by public too which are put up on streets and finally after a set timing we go and immerse the idol in the water. It was fun as every item used and procedure had a lot of medicinal value added too. Festivals were another means of the family to bond more and share and care more.

I should say to disturb peace amongst families things can happen anytime, people make it happen especially to find partners that match not just us but also our families is a tough job and if we find it, it truly is a blessing. Not to forget to mention about my sister in law, she is more than a friend, my true sister, someone as crazy as me and super loving too.

Another experience of mine, while I was here my maternal grandma passed away. She was very dear to me. But due to various reasons I couldn’t go. But when I went to India recently that is after 3 years of shifting to UK, I went to my late grandmother’s place visited her grave, spent time in her place and met all my relatives. Also, another traditional festival called Sankranthi, we all meet yearly once which is celebrated in January. We cook as one huge, big family, play, dance, sing and of course loads of talking.  We meet our older grandparents which makes them happy too.

I once belonged to the category who hated being a woman as she was restricted from many things and had to be overly accountable to things and society, it was very overbearing for me to be a woman. Especially in India things are different. But to think of it all, yes it was a long journey to understand the strength of being a woman and her role in family and to shape the future generation. And now for me to leave India was a tough decision, my parents even now though they support still back of their hearts wishes to be together once again like old times. Now why did I do it? If family is so important then why leave? Many more questions may arise. But the important fact is that we all want to grow and explore to earn and give a better life for our kids, to get better ourselves too. So, I carry all my memories and experiences as a beautiful treasure box and move along in my life and see where it takes. And wherever I go I know from the bottom of my heart that I can do anything with the blessings and love of my family which encourages to be me. And I am proud of every single bit of it.

If I have to divide my life until now every decade has been a great progress and giving me a better hope for the future. I love every single bit of the highs and lows of it coz it made me who I am today. I work for company called ‘Auto Trader’ and it has been satisfying at every level. This company is like my second home. What I liked much in this company is the welfare of the company’s employees. The employees here are from diverse cultures. It’s a beautiful blend of different people coming together and working as one under one roof. Our company looks out for every employee, respects and provides the space to be themselves, gives opportunities to enjoy and share their cultural celebrations amongst the working team too. Mental health is considered which is a great thing for me. I am able to work at my pace with me being comfortable of being myself and was able to see a good progress in the last 3 years. I made my friends here too, and people here also gave us the time and space to adjust and make us feel at home.

We all know that kids tend to learn what they see. And I totally agree with it. Today I am a woman a mother sharing a family with a loving partner who also understands me. Thanks to the Universe and Almighty for it. But all of this is now a part of me; I do things with a better understanding and with ease. I am able to be a confident. I grew up to embrace Empathy, love, extending helping hand, being genuine at expressing and caring in short to be an emotionally stable person. I believe if we are contended with our life that reflects in everything we do. Our workplace, our personal lives, our social life can be very contended and we can give our best shot possible. Family is a support system and that’s what I believe and want to teach my kid too.

I hope this little blog of mine meant something to someone out there. I would just want to conclude that the place where I come from is rich in its family values and had made me grow into a strong individual. A family supports you as a whole, your dreams, and your ambitions on the whole into a complete human being not just to live but to have a higher purpose of that is to love and care. Success and result will come when we achieve the sense of fulfilment with who they are.  Thank God for having a family.